Treasure chest
by Magdelope
Summary: Sweet and angsty. Leliana has always loved Morrigan and because of this doesn't dare to speak to her directly at Skyhold. One-shot. Morrigan/Leliana


"Yes," Leliana said irritably, "what is it?" Josephine stopped dead in her tracks. Leliana sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said in a much softer tone, "these are trying times, I find myself… tired." She leaned over her table, looking at her documents. But there was nothing new. No new angle. No new ideas. All Leliana could do was wait. Wait for the Inquisitor to decide that they were ready to move forward. Leliana felt she was ready. She had never been good at waiting.

"When was the last time you did something for fun?" Josephine asked, her eyebrows knotting together in worry, "you're here all the hours of the day. You don't leave to sleep. To eat. You didn't even join us for the card game the other night."

"Oh come on, Josie," Leliana said, "you know no one actually wanted me there. They'd just think I knew all the cards before they had even been dealt. Although I heard you played the pants off of Cullen. I would have loved to see that." She chuckled, but it didn't feel real.

"It was fun," Josephine said, "but I missed you."

"Yes, well," Leliana said but then she fell quiet. She could feel Josephine eyes on her head, but for some reason her friend stayed quiet.

"What?" She asked eventually, feeling annoyed.

"Have you gone and talked with Lady Morrigan since she arrived at Skyhold?"

"No. What? Why?" Leliana let the hood down and pulled her fingers through her hair. She didn't want to think about Morrigan.

"I'm just surprised," Josephine continued, "and slightly concerned."

"Well," Leliana said, flipping the papers over to appear busy, "there is nothing for you to be concerned about."

"But this is Morrigan," Josephine said, her fingers twitching, "_the _Morrigan you told me about. You spent over a year together. Sleeping on the ground. Eating together. Almost dying together. And now you don't have a word to say to each other? It is just odd. And… well, people are talking."

Leliana lifted her head at that.

"People are talking?" One of her eyebrows shot up. "People are talking because I haven't personally greeted our latest visitor? Just like I haven't greeted any of our visitors?"

"People always talk," Josephine said, her hands doing wild gestures as she spoke, "if you were to visit with her, people would talk as well. But... "

"But?" Leliana fought the urge to demand an answer. _This is Josie, _she reminded herself, _sweet, wonderful Josie. Your friend. Not your enemy. _

"Fine," Josephine said with a twinkle in her eye, "I'm the one who's wondering. I'm curious. Why haven't you gone and seen her? You used to talk so much about her."

"That was years ago," Leliana said, "before all of this. We're not the same people anymore."

"But Leliana." Josephine waited until Leliana had her eyes on her, "she is not just a guest. She is here to work for us. With us. With you. And neither of you have said a word to each other."

Leliana didn't want to talk about Morrigan. She didn't want to talk with Morrigan. It was painful just seeing her across the war table everytime the council gathered. She tried her best to ignore the witch on the other side but it was hard. The rejection hurt. But knowing she'd never get to love Morrigan hurt even more.

Josephine was still looking at her, as if expecting her to say something else.

"When I was really little," Leliana said, "the woman I lived with had a treasure chest. It stood in the centre of the kitchen. She would encourage me to ask about it, to talk about it, to guess what was in it. But I was never allowed to see what was in it. I still don't know what she kept in there. I will never know what she considered treasure."

Josephine raised an eyebrow and shook her head gently. Leliana knew that she wasn't very clear, but she didn't feel like explaining herself. Josephine clearly understood the situation and nodded her good bye.

When she had left, Leliana went out on the balcony and looked down at her object of her affection below. She pulled fingers through her red hair again. She knew that she wasn't as young anymore, there were lines around her mouth and her eyes. But there were other signs of aging that weren't outward. Like the gaping hole in her soul. She wanted to fill it with Morrigan and only Morrigan. She wanted Morrigan to treat her like treasure.

Leliana looked away, blushing like a little girl. Morrigan had looked up and the bard hoped that Morrigan hadn't seen her. She went inside the rockery and leaned over the papers. Always the papers. Trying to focus. She had things to attend to. Things to do.

Pain. In the end, that's what had defined her life. She had gone from struggle to struggle with not much rest in between. Leliana was realising more and more that this was never going to change. This was her destiny, this was what the Maker wanted from her. And she would fight for him.

Not for Morrigan.

All the years between them, all the memories of what had happened and what hadn't happened. Of skin and teeth and lips and Morrigan's voice in Leliana's ear and black tendrils of hair flowing through Leliana's fingers. Of things that had never happened outside Leliana's dreams. The reality was what was left. Memories of demons and archdemons, bad shoes and even worse cooking. Of the warden dying. Of Leliana breaking down, one last time, begging Morrigan to kiss her. Morrigan refusing, but with tears in her eyes, saying that it was for Leliana's own good. Leliana wanted to remember the truth. She wanted to remember if Morrigan had at least kissed her forehead or cheek at least. But sometimes, when it came to Morrigan, dreams and reality flowed together. No. Leliana had nothing to say to Morrigan. She could barely face the witch. It had been ten years. And it still hurt. Because they were going to die. Both of them. Sooner or later. They were out of time now.

It was in the aftermath. Most people were celebrating. The party had been going for days. Leliana was tired of the yelling and cheering. That mage Vivienne was going straight to the Sun burst throne and Leliana was going nowhere. After the Inquisition, where would she go? She looked at the papers, reading the words that were supposed to be meant for her. There was also a small note from Vivienne asking if Leliana wanted to continue on as the left hand of the Divine.

Before Leliana knew what had happened she had hit her right fist in the table and burst out crying. She sank down on the chair by her desk and covered her face with her hands. She cried like a little girl. At least there was no one to see her.

"Well, well," a familiar voice said, "I came to find our harsh and disciplined spymaster. Have you seen her?" Leliana looked up, Morrigan's form a bit blurry because of all the tears.

"Are you hear to torment me?" she asked, no longer caring about anything. She hid her face again and resumed crying. Her hand was clutching the note from Vivienne and she tried to protest when Morrigan pulled it from her grip.

"Is this why you're crying?"

Leliana didn't answer. Reality had caught up with her and she was mortified. A warm finger grasped Leliana's chin and pulled her face up until she was again looking at Morrigan's face.

"Come on, bard," Morrigan said, "we're not strangers you and I. And it's not the first time I see you crying." Her gaze was warm, motherly and around her eyes were fine lines that hadn't been there ten years ago. So many things had happened. So many things should have happened but hadn't.

"You don't need to be her left hand," Morrigan said with scorn in her voice. "There are other people who can…"

"Exactly," Leliana whispered, "there are other people who can be left hands. But what else can I do? What good am I then?"

Morrigan stood up.

"Let's go for a walk, 'tis a lovely night."

They left Skyhold. Went right through the open gates and towards the white mountains.

"Where is Kieran?" Leliana had to ask. Morrigan smiled, it seemed like she couldn't think of her son without smiling. It was sweet. And very unfamiliar. Leliana couldn't even tell if she liked it or not.

"He's asleep in our room," Morrigan said, "somebody thought it was a good idea to treat my son to his first taste of wine. Poor thing is probably not going to wake up for a very long time." Leliana chuckled, remembering her own first taste of wine.

They stopped at the end of the runway and looked at the white mountains. Leliana loved Skyhold. She loved the view and how safe it made her. It was even more beautiful at night, the moon and the snow preventing it from being completely dark.

"Why did you not come and see me?" Morrigan's question startled her. "You haven't come to see me at all." Leliana had no answer so she didn't reply. She looked at the moon.

"The moon reminds me of your eyes," she said instead.

"And lyrium reminds me of yours," Morrigan said, her voice teasing. Leliana laughed, she had to. If she didn't she'd had started to cry again instead.

It was such a magical night. She tentiatively grabbed Morrigan's hand.

"I'm sorry that I didn't come and see you," she said, "it hurt too much." They turned to face each other, Morrigan's eyes really shining like two moons in the dark. "You're like a treasure chest I don't have the key to."

Morrigan chuckled at that, the sweet noise causing shivers to travel down Leliana's spine.

"How poetic."

Leliana smiled, a shard of her soul again falling into place.

"Well, I am a bard," she said, "it's kind of what I do." Morrigan leaned forward, causing Leliana to hold her breath but all the witch did was press a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. They turned to look at the moon again, Leliana smiling now.

"Me and Kieran are leaving in a few days," Morrigan said, "we'd like for you to come with us."

"What?"

"Your work here is done," Morrigan continued, her voice as calm as ever. "I doubt you actually want to be left hand for another Divine."

"You're saying I don't have a choice?"

"'Tis not what I am saying at all," Morrigan said, "you have several choices, I'm just giving you one more."

"You're giving me the best one," Leliana admitted.

"I know," Morrigan said, laughter in her voice, "I wish people would realise that more often."

Leliana grasped her hand, brought it to her lips and kissed it.

"Me too."

Leliana had already decided, but there was no need to utter any more words. The night was perfect just as it was. Her life had changed for the better.

Her future was a treasure chest.

And for the first time, Leliana had the key.


End file.
